


A Superhero's Life

by DWM



Category: Goof Troop, Iron Man (Comic)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Terrible Fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-27
Updated: 2011-09-27
Packaged: 2017-10-24 02:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/257756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWM/pseuds/DWM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terrible Crossover Fanfiction Idea Generator Fanfic</p><p>“Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Iron Man and Goof Troop. The story should use unclogging a toilet as a plot device!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Superhero's Life

**Author's Note:**

> Old thing I had lost a long time ago. I don't even consider it fanfic, but here it is. First fic-like thing I ever wrote.

Being a superhero is never as fun as they make it to be. Sure, there's the glory, the fame, the chicks who dig superheroes and... oh yeah, and that saving the world stuff too. And who doesn't like punching some aliens or supervillains in the face? All cool, all cool.

But then you have these missions, these.. not so heroic missions where you oughta help poor kittens down trees or lecture kids on their parents behalf -they think kids will pay more attention to you than them- and that's cool too, because good PR is key to a superhero's true professional success unless you want to end up like Spiderman or god help you, The Punisher.

And yet then, there are these other missions, you know? The humiliating ones. The ones you want no living being to know you've been at.

"Oh for the love of..."

"Gawrsh! Mister Man, ya' think it..."

"No, no, it's Okay... it's okay. I can do this. I can do this... oh my god. Just hand me the Plunger. And, it's Iron Man, okay? Call me Iron Man."

"Will do Mister Man, Hu-yuck! I mean, Iron Man."

"That's why you don't go and eat all the burritos Dad. Geez, must you always embarrass me so?"

"Gawrsh! I'm sorry Max."

Sometimes you wonder if the good outweighs the bad in this line of work. Sometimes you wonder if one shouldn't just strangle Reed Richards to death so he doesn't keep on fucking with universes -yes, UNIVERSES- time and time again with that goddamned portal of his and you end up in a weird mock up of Earth where everyone is a dog of some sorts, unclogging a toilet for the sake of both worlds' future.

"So, word says you a CEO of some big company, uh? 'Cause I've got some good ideas that might interest ya' alright."

"Let the superhero do his work Peter, you can talk to him later. Know that you are welcome to dinner, Mister Iron Man."

"Thanks... _argh.._ Thanks Miss Pete but I-- _oomph!_ \-- I gotta leave after this. Can't stay. -- _HMPF!_ \--"

"It's Peg for you, handsome. Shame you can't stay."

Because, you know? you could be doing something else, could be attending today's board meeting -you have yet to decide if that would be slightly better than this mission-, you could be balancing the Avengers budget, could be doing something where you could actually use your real skills or suit to its full potential. But no, here you are, plunger in both hands, pumping for.. god.. no... just don't think about it.

"You know, it's real cool how he keeps the smell inside that force shield or something."

"No kidding PJ! You should've seen him earlier when he shot something from his hands into the toilet and everything went ... well it was cool just until then though."

Thing is, once you tried approaching this the usual way -blasting your repulsors to unclog or just destroy the damn toilet- and find out that what's there is not just the usual - _sigh_ \- **shit** , but Reed's new portal's dimensional binding core which is causing both worlds to collapse, and that damaging it translates into damage to your world, what's left is pretty much to just get your hands dirty extracting it the old way.

"How come you are a robot but not a robot? Why yellow and red? You like Yellow and Red? I like Yellow better than Red. Are your clothes yellow and red too? Are your pets robots but not robots too? Are they Yellow and Red? Do you really watch TV in your mind? I wanna watch TV in my mind too! Bet you can build a TV in my mind. Can you? Will you? C'mon Mister Roboman, c'mon say something!"

"Pistol! Leave the man alone!"

"But mom!"

Being a superhero is never as fun as they make it to be.


End file.
